


i just wanted you to know (that this is me trying)

by EVIESDRAGON



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Mild Blood, Past Harry Hook/Jay, but it's minimal, captain hook isn't a good man y'all just putting it out there, endgame ben/harry hook, it's nothing explicit but he's not a good man, just so everyone knows what they're in for, there's fluff too, this is just 5.3k of harry hook's pov bc it's what he deserves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:53:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EVIESDRAGON/pseuds/EVIESDRAGON
Summary: (pourin' out my heart to a stranger, but i didn't pour the whiskey)Harry Hook is lost. The ghosts of his past aka his past relationship with Jay is keeping him from pursuing one with Ben.(or 5.3k words on harry hook regaining hope after a fight with his demons)
Relationships: Ben/Harry Hook, Harry Hook/Jay
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23





	i just wanted you to know (that this is me trying)

**Author's Note:**

> Please READ the tags <3

Auradon was loud. Harry thought that was strange, for some reason. The Isle was a mess so noise was to be expected. But in Auradon? The poster place for manners and properness? He was surprised the city was loud with traffic jams and people talking in the streets. He didn’t really mind, though. It was just a curious thing to think about.

The world didn’t bother him but the loud noises inside his head did. His head wasn’t always pounding with a very specific noise, though. No, that only happened when people spoke to him. Not _people_. A _person_. Specifically, a boy with a crown.

‘Would you like to hang out?’ Ben, the boy with the crown, had asked last month. 

_Swords clashing._

‘Hey, do you need help with that?’ Ben had asked two weeks ago, seeing Harry grumble while hunched down with his face buried in a Math textbook.

_Shouting._

_(‘You never fucking listen! You’re impossible! How can anyone like you?’)_

‘Harry! Wait up!’ Ben had called for him just yesterday.

_His own heartbeat ringing in his ears._

_(‘…Ah thought ye did.’)_

Harry had ran off every time, leaving a very confused Ben behind. He was never good at it. At running when things didn’t go his way or when he thought he was in danger. The more he thought about it the clearer that was in his head. The amount of times he gave in to his outbursts of anger and rage that made him step forward and face a threat, with absolutely nothing to lose were far more than the times he backed off.

He knew the reason for that too. He became reckless the moment he had lost everything. But it hadn’t always been that way.

There was a time where Harry had been careful. Attentive, even.

\--

_“Ye aren’t here tae try and steal from me again, are ye, Jay?” Harry teased maybe a little obnoxiously upon hearing footsteps. The sight of the longhaired boy in his trademark red beanie that approached him with lazy steps was met with a grin._

_“If I wanted to steal I’d be gone already. Plus it’s not like you have anything worth stealing, don’t flatter yourself, Hook,” Jay’s voice echoed a bit in the empty alley. He parked himself next to Harry. Sitting in dark, muddy alleys late at night had become a bit of a habit for them._

_“Piss off,” Harry laughed a little, no real bite to his words. Jay laughed too but his dark eyes suggested his heart was in a different mood. Harry offered him the bottle he had in his hand. “Yer dad?”_

_Jay looked up, unsure of what he was looking for because that stupid dome was always there. Never did anything. Other than ruin his life by keeping him there. Then he took the bottle from Harry and chugged the equivalent of a full glass of the liquid inside._

_“This is fucking gross, I’ll never understand why you pirates like it,” Jay scowled, shuddering a bit at the taste. Grassy, dry and yet, entirely too sweet for his liking._

_“Ah dinnae mind it anymore,” Harry shrugged, taking the bottle back. He was sure they weren’t supposed to drink it. He didn’t particularly like it, either. He knew all too well the side effects of rum. But sometimes being numb was the only way to survive the night. A little price to pay. “It’s all me dad has around anyway.”_

_“Right.”_

_Jay hadn’t met Captain Hook’s son by mere chance. His father, Jafar, had preached about how pirates always had gold hidden somewhere. Inside their heavy leather coats. Inside their empty bottles of rum. Inside their boots, under their feet. Maybe even in their long beards. Bla, bla, bla. Jay didn’t bother to hear the rest of his father’s nonsense and simply agreed to swing by the docks and steal whatever the pirates had on them._

_Jay was done arguing with his father about the very obvious fact that they were all trapped under a dome and objects with real value were not a thing. It didn’t matter to him. He insisted on ‘The Big Score’. So, Jay tried to steal the closest thing to that. A golden pocket watch that caught his eye, dangling from a young pirate’s leather pants._

_Long story short, the young pirate and the little thief were now inseparable. Jay spent more time with the pirates than he did anywhere else._

_“Ah’m sorry.” Harry quietly said._

_Words that inspired manners or feelings were not to be heard on the Isle of the Lost. But Harry and Jay said them to each other. Not very often, though. However, it was enough._

_“So, why are we here?” Jay prompted another question to avoid talking about Jafar. Harry just now realized Jay had never answered his question but he knew better than to push it._

_“Isn’t me pretty face enough reason?” Harry replied, a poor attempt at making Jay laugh._

_“You can’t fight these cheekbones.” Jay shoved his arm playfully with a smile. A smile so different from the one he wore to lure people into his charms to get something out of them._

_Harry wasn’t sure of what he and Jay had. They weren’t allowed to laugh, but he laughed with Jay. They weren’t allowed to touch, but he and Jay touched each other. They weren’t allowed to dream but Harry liked to imagine what their life would be like if they weren’t sitting in a dirty alley._

_He wasn’t sure and he knew Jay wasn’t either. But he liked it. He felt warm about it._

_On the other hand, maybe it was all the rum sinking into his stomach._

_\--_

Auradon felt like a trap. A big, bright and unsettling trap. Those thoughts led Harry to sit near the bridge that now connect the two places that day, his hook in hand and his old sword on the floor. Auradon and the Isle of the Lost. Harry never thought he’d find the Isle more comforting, after all he lived there. He found himself wanting to just go back.

“You too?”

Harry turned his head at the voice. He was ready to find some excuse to bolt and to not be in Ben’s company but he was surprised to find Mal staring back at him, her hands shoved in the pockets of her ripped skinny jeans.

“Huh?”

Mal simply shrugged and sat down next to him. It had been an even bigger surprise to him that he had found a friend in Mal.

“You feel like going back, don’t you?” Mal asked, staring at the other side of the bridge. “I wanted that too, remember?”

Harry nodded, the events of perhaps two years ago flashing before his eyes.

“It’s not the same, Mal,” He shook his head right after, though. “But dinnae fash yerself, lass. Ah’m not actually goin’ back,”

“Maybe not. And I figured as much,” Mal agreed. “But I know what it feels like to look over there and find comfort in it, even with all the shit we went through. It’s scary. And you know,” Mal gave him a sheepish little smile. “People do notice when you storm off,”

“The princess is definitely rubbing off oan ye,” Harry quirked a brow. Mal making this much sense in so little time definitely was a show of how much having Evie as a girlfriend helped her. Mal seemed relaxed. Happy. Harry wasn’t mad about it. He just wished he could feel that way too.

“I’m not the only one with a royal in mind,”

Harry would’ve fallen on his ass if he wasn’t already sitting down. Mal chuckled lightly.

“Like I said, people have eyes,”

“Ah can’t,”

“Why? Because of _him_?” Mal responded, clearly with no intentions of sugar coating it.

Harry clenched his jaw. He wasn’t sure of how much Mal actually knew but considering her relationship with his ex-boyfriend, he assumed she knew enough.

“Yer pushing it, Mal,” Harry warned.

“He never told me anything, if that’s what you’re mad about. I just know you guys had a thing and it went downhill,” Mal turned her head to actually look at the boy sitting next to her. He was sure she knew more than she was letting on. Jay was like a brother to her, after all. “Look, I also know what’s like to know exactly what you want and pull dumb shit instead of fighting for it. I got lucky that Evie waited for me to pull my shit together. Yeah, it’s fucking scary. But if you like Ben, go for it. He’s clearly into you.”

That didn’t make him feel less scared or less defensive about it but the thought of Ben liking him made him unclench his jaw.

“And if it bothers you so much, why haven’t you talked to _him_?”

Mal didn’t wait around to hear the answer; she wanted to give him space and Harry was both a little relieved and a little disappointed.

“Fuck if ah know…” Harry muttered all to himself.

He got up, picked up his sword and like always, his head started pounding again, haunting and loud.

(‘ _I did. I did like you. But now I’m done.’_ )

He shook his head furiously, as if he somehow could also shake the memories away. But the voices only got louder. He wasn’t even sure which memory was trying to push through anymore. He dropped his sword like the blade was on fire and he had just been burned.

( _‘…If ah catch ye stealing me rum again, yer goin’ tae wish ye hadn’t been born, laddie.’_ )

“Make it stop…” He whispered pulling at his hair in a desperate attempt to keep the details of his childhood buried deep into his subconscious. Even the good ones brought him nothing but pain.

\--

_Harry didn’t want to move. He sat at the docks, swinging his feet that nearly touched the water underneath. The sound of the water calmed his soul._

_“Hey, man,”_

_Jay._

_Harry played with his hook and made room for Jay to sit beside him._

_“Your dad?”_

_This time, Jay was the one to wonder, adjusting his signature beanie as he sat down next to Harry._

_“Aye,” Harry nodded. “Same old shite,” He added with a shrug. “Not why ah wanted tae see ye,”_

_“Is it my winning personality?” Jay grinned. “Or maybe my beautiful face,”_

_“Ah’m the dashing rapscallion ‘ere, Jay. Yer missing this,” Harry laughed pointing to the black eyeliner he chose to wear around his eyes._

_“Ah, am I not enough of a pirate for you?” Jay wondered._

_“What pirate doesn’t like rum?” Harry quipped and both boys laughed._

_Harry didn’t mean it, though. Jay had been more of a pirate than most pirates that inhabited those old ships and all the filthy bars and shops. He was exceptional with a sword, stealthy and incredibly charming. He had it all to be a successful pirate._

_“Ah got ye something,” Harry spoke again. It was late once more. Nights on the Isle were just as if not more dangerous than daytime but alas, they always found themselves having longing moments when the moon was up there. Or at least they hoped it was. The dome didn’t let them see much._

_“You got me something? I thought I was the thief around here,” Jay laughed it off but Harry knew better._

_“Relax, ah didn’t steal it, mate,” Harry chuckled and pulled a sword from his other side, handing it to Jay. “But ah thought. Every pirate needs a sword. And ye can’t really fight with that wee knife of yers.”_

_Jay carefully took it and Harry saw the gleam in his dark eyes._

_“Dude, this is great,” Jay broke into a huge grin and Harry got the feeling of mission accomplished. It flooded his chest, like a big wave in the ocean would._

_They weren’t allowed to say ‘thank you’. But Jay had said it. Quiet and rushed but he had said it._

_They weren’t allowed to love. Harry didn’t know what that felt like. But he thought he might’ve loved Jay because when Jay pushed the sword aside and met Harry’s lips with his own, Harry felt like he was about to burst._

_If Harry knew what love felt like, he assumed that was it. Having the Prince of Thieves that close to him, breaking every rule he’s ever known. Stealing something far more valuable than that pocket watch._

\--

“Harry. Open your eyes.”

He heard the voice. But he didn’t want to open his eyes. He was scared.

“Just make it stop,” He pleaded.

Then he heard something else. The soft rumble of the water. It was louder than before and he could hear the burble. That wasn’t sea water. Harry carefully opened his eyes to find himself by the enchanted lake. He didn’t remember ever leaving the bridge.

Ben stood next to him with a worried expression and Harry’s immediate thought was of pushing him away.

“What happened?” He asked instead. “How did ah…” He trailed off confused.

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Ben replied carefully.

“Wait, did ye follow me? Ye need tae leave!” Harry immediately took a step back, returning to his senses and reminding himself that he could not get involved with the boy that made his heart race in a way that only brought him pain.

“I didn’t! Just listen!” Ben insisted.

_(‘…Never fucking listen!’)_

Harry froze. His panic probably travelled to his face because Ben frowned.

“Look, I’m just worried,” Ben tried, his voice quiet and calm this time. Harry listened this time. “I didn’t follow you. I was already here. I like to come here. Then you showed up. You… don’t remember getting here, do you?”

Harry wanted to shove him away, as far away from him as possible but his body wasn’t responding. Maybe because deep down he didn’t actually want that. He shook his head weakly.

“It wouldn’t stop…My head. Ah keep seeing things whenever ah’m with ye,” Harry knew he sounded and looked like he was completely insane.

“Things?” Ben tried to understand. “What things?”

“Memories,” Harry clarified. “Reminders,”

“Of…?”

“That ah can’t give ye what ye want from me,” Harry frowned saying those words aloud. He realized he hated to know he was going to hurt Ben. He _was_ hurting Ben.

“Harry—“

“No,” Harry shook his head. “Ah’m very sorry for… all the trouble ah’ve caused. For running away and all that. But ah can’t, Ben,”

Ben folded his arms with a puzzled look. Harry waited and nervously shifted from one foot to another.

“Okay, yes. I am interested in you. But I wasn’t going to propose or anything,” Ben then said in an attempt to lighten the mood. “I just wanted to hang out with you. What did you think was going to happen?”

What _did_ Harry think was going to happen if he had just listened to Ben? He realized he never thought about it.

“Ah… Ah dinnae ken…” Harry admitted in an almost brittle voice.

He heard Ben’s voice directed at him but couldn’t make out the words as his most painful memory was free to roam around his brain now that he was defeated and out of energy to suppress it.

He gave in to it.

\--

_Harry was laughing._

_He loved the rush of a good sword fight. Every single sound sparked joy in him. The crunch of the gravel beneath his feet as he moved to dodge and counter attack. The whistle of the sword as he wielded it. The clanging sound of the metal as the swords hit each other. It was more like a wild unpredictable dance and it was enthralling. Harry loved being a pirate._

_Jay's sword swished through the air as he parried Harry's attack. Harry laughed again and with a swift move, his sword was inches away from Jay’s throat._

_“Ah win. Again,” Harry grinned smugly. “Yer good. Just not as good as me,”_

_“Don’t get cocky, you got lucky,” Jay rolled his eyes, pushing the blade away with his hand and wiping the sweat from his forehead. “It’s all this weight. And I’m fucking boiling,”_

_Jay wasn’t used to it yet. To wear a pirate hat instead of his beanie. To wear a long coat instead of his sleeveless leather. To having a flask inside his coat and a belt on his jeans that he could rest his sword on. Harry had insisted Jay tried out real pirate clothes since he was hanging out at the docks every day now._

_“Well, if yer goin’ tae be one of us, ye have to wear those,” Harry insisted, putting away his sword._

_“Do I really?” Jay wrinkled his nose. Jay liked Harry. Being a pirate? Not so much._

_“Aye, in fact—“_

_“Playin’ pirates again, eh, laddie?”_

_Harry stopped on his tracks and exhaled sharply before turning around. That tone wasn’t playful or nice at all. It was nothing but derogatory._

_“Father,”_

_Towering over him there was Harry’s father, Captain James Hook as he lived and breathed._

_Jay could never mistake Harry for anyone other than Hook’s son. Same blue eyes, same sharp jawline, thick accent and even though silver fox was the correct term to describe James Hook’s hair, Jay knew that once in another lifetime it had been as dark as his son’s. And of course, the most obvious thing. James Hook was actually missing a hand and his silver rusty hook was raised and slowly dancing around Harry’s features._

_“Anything ye need, Father?” Harry asked. He knew better than to flinch at the touch of his father’s hook. So, as uncomfortable as he was, as he always was, he stood still._

_“From ye? Like ye could ever be useful tae me,” James sneered. “No, no. Ah’m not here tae see ye,”_

_Harry followed his father’s gaze. He was looking at Jay. Why was he looking at Jay?_

_“Glad tae see yer finally wearing some decent clothes, lad,” James addressed Jay and he only stared back in response. “Have ye thought about what ah said?”_

_Harry furrowed his brows, confused. Since when Jay and his father had any sort of relationship? He didn’t like what he was hearing._

_“I have,” Jay finally answered. “I haven’t changed my mind.”_

_James gave him a bit of a side eye and slapped him in the back before leaving without so much as another look in his son’s direction. As soon as he was out of earshot, Harry looked at Jay._

_“What was me old man talking aboot?”_

_Jay looked uncomfortable for a moment and Harry clenched his jaw, anger starting to bubble inside him._

_“Listen, dude—“_

_“Oot with it, Jay!” Harry growled._

_“He offered me a position in his crew! Okay? There!” Jay answered raising his voice._

_The silence was deafening. The docks weren’t a quiet place so Harry was sure his brain was just tuning out all the noise. That couldn’t be right, he wasn’t hearing right._

_“…What?”_

_“Yeah,” Jay nodded and offered Harry a sheepish look. “He’s been pestering me for weeks now. Something about him thinking I have what it takes to be a first mate or something like that. Unclear of what he means but—“_

_“First mate?” Harry interrupted weakly, his shoulders sagging with the weight of the information he was just receiving._

_It had to be a mistake. Or a dream, it could be a dream. He waited quietly for a moment, hoping to jolt awake at any second now._

_“That’s what he said,” Jay confirmed. “Dude it’s not a big deal, okay I—“_

_“Not a big deal?” Harry’s voice was laced with poison now._

_Dangerous and not at all confused and weak anymore, Harry stepped forward. Something dark was creeping on him, he didn’t know what it was but he wasn’t going to stop it from consuming him._

_“Not a big deal, eh?” He laughed coldly. “Is that what this was? Yer only pretending tae like me so ye can steal me spot on me Father’s crew? Was that yer ‘Big Score’ all along?”_

_“No, you’re not understanding, Harry,” Jay shook his head trying to reason with him. “Just let me explain—“_

_“Shut up!” Harry snapped, grabbing Jay by his collar and pushing him against the nearest wall. No, he was not going to let Jay sweet talk him again. “Just shut up! Yer a traitor!”_

_“What the fuck, man!” Jay protested and pushed him back. “Just listen!”_

_“There’s nothin’ tae hear!” His chest moved up and down responding to Harry’s anger. “Weeks! Ye kept this from me!” He pushed Jay back with all his strength and the ‘oof’ that came from Jay after he hit the wall brought something in Harry. Pleasure. It was disgusting but he liked it. He wanted to do it again. Make Jay suffer for taking what was rightfully his. Revenge._

_“Because I thought it didn’t matter! Just fucking listen to me!” Jay recovered but he was angry too now. He immediately leaned on the wall again because Harry drew out his sword and was now pointing it at him._

_“Ah trusted ye!” Harry all but growled. Jay watched Harry’s fists clenching in anger and his hook on the muddy floor, forgotten by the young pirate._

_“You still can! Fucking hell, just listen—“_

_“Ah dinnae want tae hear another word from ye,” Harry growled again, pressing the tip of the blade against Jay’s skin. A little blood dripped from that spot and he pulled the sword back again, happy with the result as it was. “Yer nothin’ but a fuckin’ street rat. A miserable thief. Yer nothin’. Yer dad would sell ye for a sack of gold. Yer useless and worthless tae him and tae everyone,”_

_Those words stung. Jay had once confided in Harry. Told him Jafar made him feel like he was just a grain of sand in his shoe. It made him sad that Harry was using it against him just like that. Brought a lot of the pain back. But it made him furious too. He ignored the blood and stepped forward. Two could play that game and Jay was not going to let Harry have the last word._

_“That’s bold,” Jay hissed dangerously. “Coming from a little lost boy who pretends to be a pirate to impress his Daddy and fails because he’s worthless and useless too. A little lost boy who stands in his sisters’ shadows and needs to wear a fake hook to feel better about himself. You’re just pissed that your dad would rather have a street rat on his ship than his own son,”_

_Harry’s dark streak shattered at those words. His entire body shivered as he jolted back to reality, realizing what had just happened. What he had done. He took a step back, his anger replaced by fear and pain. **He was worthless and useless.**_

_“Jay, ah—“_

_“No!” Jay shook his head and took off the pirate hat, throwing it on the floor. “See you always do this! You never fucking listen! You’re impossible! How can anyone like you?”_

_Harry’s chest felt heavy. **No one liked him**._

_“…Ah thought ye did.” He mumbled faintly._

_Jay stopped for a moment. Then he took off his coat and threw it on the floor as well._

_“I did. I did like you. But now I’m done,” Jay pushed past Harry but didn’t leave before turning back one last time. “I told him no. I wasn’t here because I wanted to be a pirate. I never liked it. I was here for you. I told him you’d be a better fit for the job. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? You didn’t want to listen.”_

_With that, Jay left. And didn’t look back anymore, leaving Harry with yet another feeling he couldn’t describe. Something broke inside him. Shattered into a million pieces. He reckoned it was his heart. **He was a little lost boy.**_

_The next time Harry saw Jay, he was laughing. He was leaning against a wall in the company of a very well-known purple haired girl. Their paths had never crossed but everyone knew Mal, Maleficent’s daughter. Harry hated that Jay had chosen to team up with her. Very unclear why but he hated it. He left before any of them could spot him. **Jay was happy and didn’t need him.**_

_Then, he saw Jay again. Somehow, it was worse than last time. Because Jay was laughing again. But he was laughing the way he used to laugh with Harry. He was laughing and ruffling the white curls of the freckled boy that was his company this time around, as they walked down the busy market street._

_“Stop it, Jay!” The white haired boy rolled his eyes and shoved Jay’s arm away. “C’mon we can’t be late.”_

_“Race you back, Pup?” Jay grinned and the ‘Pup’ boy beamed at him before taking off running, making Jay’s laugh boom across the street as he rushed to catch up to him. No one seemed to care, except for Harry._

**_Jay liked somebody else. He was over Harry._ **

_From that point on, Harry promised himself he wouldn’t let anyone else in like that. For his own sake. For everyone else’s sake. No one would like him anyway. He was a fuck up who didn’t deserve it. Jay had kept a secret from him and had been harsh, way harsher than Harry had been but he knew it was his fault too. He blew it with Jay._

_From that moment on, Harry Hook didn’t care that he got hurt in fights, he instigated them as much as possible. He sneered, yelled, intimidated and hurt everyone around him. He came home one night, his clothes stained with blood and a newfound darkness, one he kept around to remind him that he was meant to be alone._

_“Yer finally looking like a real pirate,” He heard his father say from his corner of the ship, a bottle of rum in his hand, the cork resting on his hook. “But if ah catch ye stealing me rum again, yer goin’ tae wish ye hadn’t been born, laddie.”_

_Harry didn’t care that his father had threatened his life (again). For the first time, he sounded proud to have a son and Harry took it as a sign that he was finally doing things right. However, as he sat on the wooden floor in a far away from his father corner that he established as his bed, he realized he didn’t feel any better about it._

_“Ah just need tae try harder…” He mumbled to himself._

**_He just needed to try harder._ **

_\--_

Harry lost track of time. He lost sight of reality and only when he could focus again he realized his face was wet with tears and that the memory didn’t just stay in his head. He had spoken, out loud the entire time, revealing his worst fears, the things that haunted him for years and years. And he had said them to the one person he was trying to keep away from.

Ben stood still in place but to Harry’s surprise, he didn’t look disgusted or scared.

“Why aren’t ye runnin’ away?” Harry found his voice faster than he expected. It was small and uncertain. It felt strained and croaky and he assumed he was screaming the entire time. But it was there.

“Why should I?” Ben countered and sat on the floor, inviting Harry to join.

Harry often forgot how much Ben didn’t act like a royal. A King would never sit on the floor with anyone and treat them as equals or walk around without guards but there Ben stood. As much as Harry wished he could disappear, he moved and sat down across from Ben. The harm was done, anyway.

“Do ye understand? Why ah just can’t…?” Harry asked.

“You really liked him, didn’t you?” Ben offered Harry a smile, an understanding and calm smile. Harry’s entire body felt like a tight sailor’s knot but that smile was beginning to untwist it.

“Aye…” Harry sighed, defeated.

Ben didn’t seem disturbed. Harry couldn’t for the life of him understand why this boy wasn’t ready to take off and find someone less messy to give his attention to.

“I’m sorry things went down like that,”

“Ah’m a mess, yer majesty,” Harry shook his head. “Ye can’t be with me,”

“Heartbreak sucks but it’s not the end of the world, Harry,” Ben argued. “Relationships can work and then crash down. It happens. I thought my first crush was going to be forever. Then I thought my next crush was going to be forever too. And in one way or another, we all failed each other in the end,”

Harry knew what he was talking about of course. Audrey and Mal, now each with beautiful girls by their side. It had always been Evie for Mal. No one even questioned it. And Audrey had found love in Uma. Unexpected but incredible. He realized Ben probably felt the same way he did when he watched Jay with Carlos that day on the Isle. Jay who was still with Carlos.

“How do ye do it?” Harry wondered quietly.

“What?”

“How do ye seek… love? After…” He gestured vaguely to the air around him hoping Ben understood what he meant.

“How?” Ben hummed. “You just do,” He then shrugged. “Just because we fail doesn’t mean we should quit,”

Harry listened. His own words came to mind. _‘Ah just need tae try harder’._

“Ah’m scared,” He admitted. Ben made his walls crumble down without even trying. “Ah’m scared ah won’t listen again. That ah’ll do or say something that messes things up. That we say things we can’t take back,”

Ben smiled again. He smiled a lot, Harry realized. He liked it. He liked how Ben smiled at him.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m scared too,” Ben’s confession did take Harry by surprise.

“Yer scared?”

“Of course,” Ben nodded. “Two failed relationships and a throne before I was a legal adult? I live scared. But it’s not like I can throw my crown in the lake and lock my heart out to love. My dad was like that and look at what it did to him. I don’t want to be like him,”

Harry could understand that. He would never want to turn out like his father. James Hook’s only love was his rum. That was a lonely and bleak scenario to live in. Harry wanted and had always wanted more.

“Ah want more too,” Harry agreed and then looked, really looked at Ben. “Can we…uh…take it slow? In whatever this is?”

“I want to take it slow too,” Ben smiled. “We’re both scared so I guess we could figure it out together. Right?”

“Aye. Ah’d like that. Thank ye for givin’ me a chance.” Harry smiled too.

Ben beamed this time and Harry liked that he had been the reason for it. Things wouldn’t be changing overnight but for the first time, Harry felt relaxed in Auradon.

He might just make it, after all.

//

That night Harry waited by the bridge again. Taking Mal’s advice, he had called Jay so they could finally talk. Not that they were at each other’s throats anymore but their past had certainly been left dangling between them.

It went so much better than Harry imagined. He found out Jay had kept the sword Harry gave him all those years ago. Jay found out that Harry had kept the knife Jay lost in one of their squabbles. And while they no longer felt that way about each other, it was nice to know that they could talk and be friends without feeling like something was broken between them. He was happy to see Jay felt relieved as well.

Harry stared at the bridge once more and this time, the Isle was not pulling him in.

Hope was a powerful thing.

He once hoped with Jay. Now he could hope with Ben.

**And as hope creeped in, the noise died out.**

**Author's Note:**

> Hello.
> 
> So, I came out of my comfort zone a LOT and the result is this whole Harry Hook centric one-shot. I honestly hope it's decent. 
> 
> See you soon, stay safe!
> 
> :) x


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